John Howard's Unofficial Address To The People Of Australia

This is not an official statement just the one I'd like to make
But it is never to be published for my own and for my party's sake
We would lose too many voters if I spoke the way I feel
So I must keep the tories happy or I'll lose all of my appeal.

Graeme Campbell or Pauline Hanson I don't ever criticize
I would gain no votes in doing so silence more often than not wise
They are voicing their opinions ' remember my talk on free speech'
I am here to represent you to the voters I don't preach.

Except of course on the trade unions on them I will have my say
They don't ever vote for Liberal they are Labor anyway
If I gave them all they asked for with Simon Crean they would stay
And they would still be voting Labor on Federal election day.

And of late I too have changed my mind on Hanson she like things all her own way
And since she has formed her own party on her I will have my say
Pauline plays the game of human colours she prefers white to black or brown
And I'll expose her as a racist and try my best to drag her down.

I will keep sweet with my tories they are on the Liberal side
And I'll make life hard on the unions and the poor and unemployed
Trade Unionists are Un-Australian and Un-Australians I don't like
And I'll make all true Aussies happy and break every trade union strike.

I will represent all Australians on election night I said
But that night I had one too many and it went straight to my head
Of course I don't represent trade unions or the poor and unemployed
I was merely acting humble on my moment of great pride.

The middle class to wealthy Aussies look on me as someone great
They know I'm a right wing tory and to them I can relate
And that's why I'm Prime Minister of Australia by the majority empowered
Though I don't represent every Aussie, Your sincerely, Mr Howard.