To Them The Strangest One Of All Is Me

One of my neighbours spends hours with his goats
And one of my neighbours is always on the booze
And one of my neighbours to protect his fruit trees
With his air gun shoots at white cockatoos.

They are my neighbours yet I think them strange
Though as neighbours we live in harmony
Their sort of lifestyles I don't understand
Though I've been told that they think the same of me.

One of my neighbours quarrels with his wife
I hear them arguing for hours on end
But in public places they walk hand in hand
I ask myself and why do they pretend?.

That they are happy when I think they are not
Yet am I the one who do not understand
That they must argue for a couple of hours
Before they can go walking hand in hand.

One of my neighbours barracks for Collingwood
You might say he has football in the head
He always has his magpie beanie on
And he says he even wears the thing to bed.

They are my neighbours yet I think them strange
Though with them all I live in harmony
And I've been told much to my great surprise
That to them the strangest one of all is me.